It feels like I’m writing a lot of these types of posts lately.   And well I only finished half of my races this year. 2 of my 4 races I had big fat DNF’s.  I’m not going to sugar coat it, it sucks. I worked my ass off this year. But ultras especially long ones, are freaking hard.   There’s a reason why most 100 milers have 50% finishing rates or less. It took me several tries before finishing my first 100. There’s so many miles and so much time for things to go wrong.  As I found out a few weeks ago at Rio Del Lago 100, a strong mental game and desire to finish isn’t always enough to overcome obstacles and sometimes it could actually be a bad thing.  

Things were going awesome.  I was feeling good, running through the beautiful Sierra Nevada foothills with my BRF (best running friend) Meaghan.  We were having fun, chatting with fellow runners, joking around. We went through the infamous meat grinder, miles 23-25 ish.  I fell a bit behind because I’m not quick at technical stuff. But I made it through feeling great about myself as I made it to the next aid station and Meaghan was there, not too far ahead.  We re-filled our stuff and headed out. As I started to run again, I was struck by a sharp pain in my right glute, WTF?!?! I slowed down and tried to work it out, damn that hurt. I told Meaghan what was happening.  She offered some tiger balm, obviously I slapped that stuff all over my butt. It took the sting out but I could definitely feel it. I was able to continue on and keep up with her until sometime in the mid 30s. I did apply the balm one or two more times but the pain wasn’t going away and in fact was creeping around to the front of my hip now as well.  Should I have pulled the plug then? Probably. Did I? Nope.  

I kept thinking about my DNF at CCC.  While I wasn’t upset about that one because I know I performed well and the best I could, I just didn’t want to DNF a second race in a row.  I also had the fact that this race is a Western States qualifier hanging over my head. If I didn’t finish, then I wouldn’t have a qualifier for this year to continue being in the lottery.  So with all that in mind, I kept pushing. I was managing ok until about miles 60 – 65ish. This is probably the hardest part of the course. There were some lengthy very steep climbs. I know that’s what put the nail in my coffin.  After this section, my glute was on fire and the pain was shooting around the front and down my leg. Not only that but I had begun to have left foot pain and some knee pain. Around mile 67-68 I was reduced to a slow walk. I could not move any faster due to the pain.  I knew it was over for me and dropped at the next aid station at mile 70. 

It was such a difficult decision for me to make.  I wanted that finish so bad but I was very worried about the pain I was having.  Still to this day, I am second guessing myself about dropping when clearly I shouldn’t be.  I actually should be scolding myself for going almost 50 more miles after getting injured. I pushed it not only because of the reasons I already stated but also because I have nothing else on the calendar for this year however as I’ve said before running isn’t my job and there are other things I should have been considering when deciding whether to keep going or not.  I was in a lot of pain for 2 solid weeks, so much that it was hard to work, do my mommy duties or sleep through the night. I’ve been going to PT and things are getting much better. But I’m super lucky that it’s only a few weeks of being sidelined. I could have really done serious damage that might have had me out of work or unable to take care of my family the way I need to for a long period which would have been way more devastating than 3-4 weeks of not being able to run.   

So where does that leave me now?  Well for a week after the race, I swore off hundreds forever, obviously.   I’m still rehabbing so I have not run at all which has given me lots of rest, relaxation and family time.  It’s also given my internal desire to work even harder next year a chance to grow. Sometimes I think subconsciously, I coast along when things are going well in my races.  Having two not-so-desirable results fresh in my brain, will only help me push that much harder next season. A push I definitely will need if I want to be successful at Leadville.